And now for something completely different!! (read in Monty Pythonease)

T.L. here and I just wanted to share something fun with everyone. Do you realize that we writers of the English language are a crazed lot? Let’s take a minute, and look at what we can do with some of our ‘multi-purpose’ words!

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture..

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert..

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting of Marilyn Monroe, I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

And then there are things like this: There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. Crazy, I know.

We who have grown up with it, take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

Let’s face it – the English language is demented! Why on earth did we do this to ourselves? Oh, yes, I know, it happened a long, long time ago. Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. I mean really, in what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

It is very evident that English was invented by people, not computers. It reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. Most of the above are examples I have collected through the years (emails, letters, school projects, etc.) However, as writing is who most of us are, I just had to share the paradox that is our English language.

Here’s hoping that your present presents you with a wonderful present at the end of this wonderful day!


11 thoughts on “And now for something completely different!! (read in Monty Pythonease)

  1. T.L.-too funny. Never thought about that. Lol. Thank you for sharing. I am laughing out loud for real!!! Love you!!

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